Homeschooling When Your Child is Deaf {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series}

I am pleased to share with you a beautiful post written by my friend Sara who blogs at Adventures at the Hawk's Nest. She has graciously and eagerly written a post for my Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series in which she shares about an unexpected adventure and challenge she and her husband faced, after adopting their beautiful son two years ago. Without further ado, I turn the microphone over to Sara to let her share her story...

Our son arrived home on December 10, 2014. We knew, long before then, that we wanted to home school any children we might have. But we hadn’t anticipated the extra challenges that could be waiting for us now.
Ethan was 19 months old and had lived most of his life, up to that point, in a foster home in Kunming, China. 
Our son was also deaf.

When Rotten Attitudes Enter the Classroom {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real}

In our classroom, we always have a great day! We never have to worry about bad attitudes because the boys always love school and are always helpful and eager to do whatever is asked of them. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful and easy job as their teacher.....um. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Okay. You really didn't believe me did you? Because if you did, well...you shouldn't. We are just like any other classroom. We have our good days and our bad days. Sometimes more bad days than I really want. It usually boils down to bad attitudes. In this second post of the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series, I am going to talk about what we do when someone has a rotten attitude during school!

The Problem

It is no surprise that as a homeschool parent, one of the hardest aspects of homeschooling our children is...well, homeschooling our children! They are our children, so we are well aware of their faults. We know their triggers. We know when they are about to lose it. And we don't exactly have the option of sending them...well to the principal or suspension to get them out of the classroom when they do lose it. A single child with a bad attitude can spell disaster for a homeschool day--just like it can in a public school classroom.
I have been there. Frequently. Like probably once a week.
I mostly see it in my oldest child. He's a perfectionist. He wants everything to come easy, and when it doesn't...well. It can be very ugly some times. It is interesting to me that for someone who talks all the time, he has a very very hard time expressing himself in situations like this and will just react instead. This ends up looking like a red face, angry tear filled eyes, and crossed arms--just ready to explode. Once we go there, it's very hard to get back on track. And if I handle it wrong, it will escalate and jeopardize our entire day.
Guess what? I handle it wrong. A lot.
I can't even begin to tell you the number of times things have gotten very ugly in the classroom because I reacted to his frustration in frustration myself. Oh man. It spins out of control very quickly.
Did I mention that he has a personality like me?  So he knows how to push my buttons very easily?
I'm sure you can think of one (or more) of your children/students who push your buttons more than most. I see my own imperfections reflected back at me and it frustrates me. LOL.
So how CAN I handle it when he's on the brink?
Most children who react with a rotten attitude are usually doing so because there is something that they are frustrated with. Adults are the same way. So why would we think children are any different?
And speaking of adults...
Let's not forget that the TEACHER might be the one with the rotten attitude!
Been there. Done that. And when it's a homeschool teacher with PMS...oh that's a whole other level of ugly.
So what do we do??? What can we do for our children with bad attitudes? What can we do for ourselves? What can we do when their bad attitude destroys our own?

The Solution

Here are some tips and tricks I've put together for diffusing the situation...because let's face it. School isn't going to be happening when attitudes are in play...and we can't just simply call off school every time because of them either!
*Get God involved.  Okay, so this seems weird right? How can you get God involved? Well for me, it's simply making sure that God has been a part of our homeschool day. Did I start my own day with prayer and mediation to get my priorities lined up right? If not, I quickly discover a bad attitude waiting to happen. What about your children? Did you pray with them before starting school? I find that when we fail to pray before school, we tend to deal with FAR more bad attitudes. 
And when tempers flare and the attitudes are interfering--well, I take it to God again. I will have us stop what we are doing and take a time out for prayer to God to help us get re-focused and under control. It helps. Always. 
My friend Heidi has a similar method "When that would happen to us, we would all stop and each say a prayer together and write Proverbs for 15 minutes. It is like a reboot."
*Make sure your child's basic needs are being met. Feed them. What? Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of being "hangry"? LOL! My boys experience the most attitude disruptions in the period just before lunchtime. I make sure they get snacks about an hour before lunch because they need it to help keep them focused. We do nuts, pretzels, fruit, granola bars...things that can be eaten while they are working. Trust me. It makes a difference.
My friend Diana (of Busy Homeschool Days) agrees: "Food! I'm learning to feed the monster! {I feel like I'm in one of those snickers commercials!} It brings the blood sugar up and gives us a break."
Another friend Tiffany shares: "Sometimes we break for a snack or just don't begin until after lunch."
It's amazing the power of our stomachs and blood sugar when it comes to affecting our brains! Make sure your kids have enough to munch through their day! 
Make sure YOU have enough to eat. Drink that coffee if you need it. Brew your tea. Make sure you give yourself a chocolate stash to raid mid morning. Make a smoothie full of brain food! You need it just as much--maybe even MORE than they do.
Exercise them. Oh boy. When my boys don't get to run and jump and play...well all that bottled up energy leads to serious attitude explosions! There is a REASON recess is so important! When I see them on the brink of explosion, I simply say "Finish up what you are working on right now, and then you can have recess." That usually diffuses the situation quickly. But if it doesn't, I have sometimes had them stand up and start doing silly things. At first they glare at me. But then they smirk. And then they smile. And then they laugh. And then they are ready to get back to work. 
I have a series of fun exercise cards where each card is a letter of the ABC's and has an exercise or movement that starts with that letter. In moments when we need a quick refocus, I will have them "exercise" their name. It works. 
What about PE? Have you incorporated physical education in your classroom? That can be considered tough for homeschoolers...but it is actually pretty simple. Create a circuit workout for your kids that includes jumping jacks, jump roping, hopping, pushups, leg lifts, squats, balancing...and then schedule 15-20 minutes to do it every single day. 
We started doing this and it has made a HUGE difference in our day. They look forward to it and remind me when it's time. Remember when we enjoyed PE back when it was actually still fun and mandatory? With the big parachute, relay races, scooters, and kickball? Our kids aren't any different. And when the weather is nice, take it outside! Get some soccer cones and set up simple games!
And get involved! YOU need the break and movements too!!
Jessica says "I have birthing balls instead of chairs for homework time!"

Millie shares "For me it depends on the child...For my oldest it's physical activity."
Alicia says "We break and I send him outside to take the dog for a walk. It always works between the exercise and the time with his dog...it changes him. And it gives me time to breathe and pray."

Sleep. This is a no brainer. When my boys don't have enough sleep, they get cranky. Make sure your kids are getting enough good sleep every night. Maybe they need a time of rest? Or even a nap? Make sure YOU are getting enough sleep! It's so tempting to work while they are in bed for the night. Or to finish that one more thing...but then it's after midnight and you realize the alarm is going to go off in just a few short hours. Trust me. I am a night owl, who actually needs a lot of sleep. So FORCING myself to go to bed is crucial for my success as a teacher.
Millie agrees "My youngest has anxiety which usually means a nap is in order to reset her."

Charlotte shares "If we are tired. I put a halt on school and we have a two hour rest period where no one is required to go to sleep but lights are out and calming music or a calming Netflix show is put on while we lay there and talk, or don't talk, or sleep or don't sleep, but it is definitely a time to just "Let it go!" 
Angela simply says "I often send the kid to take a nap and have him try again later."
*Change Gears Sometimes, the problem is simply accepting that your child is struggling with something related to school and they need to change gears to something else. Having issues in math? Don't let it escalate to tears! You are in control of the schedule, so change it! Let them shift to a subject they enjoy so they can get re-focused. You can attempt that math again later with a fresh outlook.  I have saved us a lot of bad attitudes by changing up our school day so that we do blocks of two subjects with a recess after. He can choose what he does, but whatever he picks has to be done before he can go to recess. This gives him a sense of being in control and puts him in a much better frame of mind. Charlotte shares "If we are having issues, then before we start back up a lesson, we focus with a small activity like a quick Lego build. I might say "build me a boat!" and she, and her little brother, build a boat. They giggle and laugh and then we can start again." Lindsey says "My daughter is finishing up her reading lessons book, and does first grade math work sheets. But if she is easily frustrated by challenges. On days that she is really struggling I go back and do an easier lesson. That way she is still doing school, but being able to accomplish it with ease makes it more fun." *Teach them how to communicate What do I mean? Well as I said earlier. Most bad attitudes in children are related to a frustration about something they are experiencing. I have learned that my oldest needs to be reminded sometimes about how to communicate in these times of frustration. If he feels himself losing control, I remind him to communicate his feelings so that I can best help him. Give them the freedom to ask questions without being made to feel dumb or stupid. We want to encourage them to express themselves properly, so that we can avoid the blowups. 
9 out of 10 times, my oldest's problems relate to him not remembering how to do something I taught him. And he just forgets that he can simply ask me for help. Instead, he buries his head in his arms and sheds many angry tears at his own inability to grasp or accomplish something. We regularly have to walk through the following:

1. Will your tears fix the problem? (no)
2. Is the frustration you are experiencing related to something you don't understand? (yes)
3. If yes, have you asked mommy to help you with it? (no)
4. Is mommy willing to help you? (yes)
Once we work through these questions, I then advise him to take a deep breath, wipe his eyes, and think about what he needs. Then and ONLY then can he ask. This allows him to get control over himself so that he can communicate freely.
Sometimes, the bad attitude is not related to the current assignment, but rather school as a whole. If you are a homeschooler, I'm SURE you have heard at least one of them say "I wish I didn't have to do school." 
It's in times like this, that it might be good to just sit and TALK. What do they wish they could do instead? If it's just to play, have a good chat with them about the importance of education and the reasons why we go to "school". What kind of job do they want later? Obviously adjust this for your child's age. Sometimes just telling them that you understand but that there is a time for work and a time for play can suffice.
More than anything, during this time of frustration, I work on teaching him to communicate his feelings and needs properly to me or whomever is involved.
Don't forget the power of a "soft answer" When it comes to dealing with frustrations, it's back to the basics...back to the source of all wisdom for our family...

"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

It's so simple. Yet I need this PLASTERED all over my desk in the classroom. When I respond to his frustration with a soft answer. A gentle touch. A hug. A pat. LOVE. I can diffuse the situation fairly quickly. When I demonstrate to him proper communication, it gives him the proper outlet for his own communication.
Do I remember to do this? Not always.
I am working so hard on answering his frustrations with kindness and gentleness instead of frustration of my own. But I have a long way to go.
*Sometimes you have to deal with the heart There are times when the issues are boiled down to a character level. It becomes a heart matter. It's not about you not helping them with something that causes them to lose it. It's about them losing control of their emotions just because they choose to. 
There are legitimate cases where children have issues of some kind that get their emotions out of whack. That's a whole other situation and issue. 
I am talking about cases when it's just downright a complete loss of control. When the countenance falls. The tongue becomes sharp. When it becomes a situation of disrespect.
We deal with that here.  Frequently, I'm afraid.
Every family has their own methods for dealing with this, but it HAS to be done. Maintaining control of one's self is so important, and yet all too many children today do not know how to do it. And then they grow up into adults who have no control of themselves and become loose cannons. We as parents--the ultimate teachers--must always address this issue with fervent action! 
And sometimes that means stopping everything you are doing in the middle of school to take care of it!
One of my friend's Lindsey has this reminder "To all homeschooling moms I would say "Remember that we chose homeschooling so that we could prioritize character building over simple academia. If the focus of a day shifts from book work to character lessons and relationship building, it isn't a failed school day, it's a day devoted to only the MOST important learning."
Cheryl shares "We work on having our children recognize the first signs of a bad attitude & usually work at those first signs where it can be done with verbal admonition. We take the offending child aside for a one-on-one talk (usually on a knee) and talk about the attitude problem. We usually point that the root of the bad attitude is selfishness-- thinking about yourself and wallowing in it. We take them back to the stories of the bible and of some of their favorite heroes to where the character of selflessness is highlighted. Usually that does the trick and if their attitude is better afterward, we go do something that they enjoy.. Be it a walk, doing a hairstyle, building blocks, making some popcorn, reading a book, it simply take a nap etc...If the bad attitude was not caught ahead of time & it leads to the physical hurt of another, then that receives an escalated admonition with a stronger consequence."
Diana says "If the attitude is bigger than a simple need not being met, there are a few things I may try. I have given a chore list in place of school. Usually, the attitude shapes up and he gets back to work on the schoolwork."
We do something similar to all of these. We stop immediately and address the issue. A verbal warning is given and we continue on. If the attitude doesn't change, then we shift to a consequence--extra chores in the house, or outside the house, or a loss of a priviledge. We also do the traditional old school "Name on the Board". If the name is on the board, they have to explain to Love-Of-My-Life (the principal) why it was put there. If there are check marks...well, then they have escalated all their consequences. I have RARELY had to put more than 1 check by anyone's name in any given day. I have found that just having to talk to Daddy about why their name is on the board is a deterrent itself. For now anyways.
Extra chores is another plus. I always have things that they can do for me. It's amazing how quickly they decide a good attitude and schoolwork is better idea than scrubbing toilets and windows.

During these moments of correction, I also pull out scriptures which show the responsibility God has put on me as a parent. That I am responsible for TEACHING them to act appropriately. And that I am not doing MY job if I don't help them curb these attitudes and behaviors. That does seem to help shift the focus back to God. We have pulled out the 10 Commandments and discussed how disrespectful attitudes, break the 5th commandment about honoring a mother and father. 
*Sometimes YOU need the break What? But THEY have the bad attitude, not me. Sure. Maybe they do. But all too often we get sucked into responding without stopping to think about what we are doing or saying. Then next thing you know you are maybe raising your voice. Or you just find yourself going head to head with them. Even when they have the attitude, sometimes it is best to remove yourself from the situation in order to count to 10 or take a moment to breathe before responding.
But sometimes...you are the one with the bad attitude. 
What do we do when it becomes apparent that WE are the ones with the problem?
Millie "For my bad attitude it's simply some time alone. I send them to recess or to take a break."
Jessica "Make sure you are de-stressed before going into teaching. If that means a cup of tea and doing the dishes first and maybe lying down for 5 minutes and visualizing, then do it!"

Tiffany "If it's me- Afternoon school instead of morning or we just may not do school that day. I do a 4 day school week...so there's an extra day to lean on if need be."
Charlotte "Since I work full-time as a night shift nurse I battle bad attitudes of my own often. Let's face it. Doing Math or listening to my first grader struggle with words when I'm exhausted is beyond challenging and not fair to either of us. Now, there are certainly days where nothing seems to work. Those days get a hot bubble bath and I lighten the load to do it in the afternoon." 
Diana "When *I* am in a bad mood, I'll go do a chore or take a nap. He's instructed to do what he can by himself and then he's free to go play. I may or may not bring him back to finish things later. We seem to feed off each other when there are bad attitudes happening. So it's usually best that we separate ourselves for a time."
Lindsey "For MY bad attitudes I have to meditate on why I'm doing this, as it is usually caused by impatience or a desire to be done and doing something else."
Cheryl "If it is me that has the attitude problem, I retreat by myself (usually the bathroom) and say a prayer, have them listen to their favorite audio book to get my time alone doing whatever or we all go out for a walk/run and simply enjoy the day."
If I catch myself starting to get uptight, I remove myself from the situation. As Diana said, bad attitudes feed on each other and my attitude will spill over onto the boys and it will be come a big mess. So I usually go and grab my rollerbottle of a relaxing blend of essential oils and oil up. That helps so much. Sometimes I simply announce that it's lunch time...and we take an extended lunch--during which time I sit and read or listen to music. Something to get myself relaxed again. And every now and then I admit defeat and simply cancel school for the day. And pray. I do a LOT of praying. Calling up scripture to mind. There are days I do an impromptu bible study just to get refocused.
*** Whether dealing with a bad attitude from one of your children, or dealing with a whopper of a bad mood in your own self, there are always steps that you can take to diffuse the situation and salvage your school day. Thankfully as homeschool teachers, we CAN send everyone out to recess that last for an hour. We CAN drop math and go straight to art or PE. We CAN stop what we are doing and go on a walk outside. We can stop and deal with the attitudes in the middle of class without worrying about the time lost. We can even throw in the towel for the day if we need to. 
The next time the rotten attitudes come knocking on your homeschool door, try sending them packing with a few of these tips and tricks I have shared today. We all have those kind of days....but they are able to dealt with, without losing your cool and making a bad day worse!
*** Thank you for joining me for my second post in the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real series! Today we talked about how we deal with the bad attitudes that enter the classroom sometimes. The first post in our series was about having to make curriculum changes mid-school year. The next post is going to be a guest post from a friend about things she's learned as she started her brand new homeschool journey. I hope you will join me as I continue this biweekly series, giving you a glimpse into some of the nitty gritty aspects of being a homeschooling mom!
What are some things YOU do to diffuse a bad attitude?

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When Your Curriculum Isn't Working {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real}

When you plan out your curriculum for your children at the beginning of the school year, you have big dreams! As you are stashing goodies away over the summer months, and ordering your new supplies, you eagerly think about all the great things you are going to be doing over the coming year. All the different subjects, all the different resources for each subject. And when they are all typed out and put into a "schedule" for the year, the list looks grand and mighty! As a homeschool teacher, I see it and go "Yes! Let's do this!" But what happens when come the end of December, things aren't going the way you had hoped? What if one of the curriculum you purchased isn't quite...working? Join me as I share about what's been going on in our OWN school year and how I answered that question when it happened to us, in my first post of the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series!

The Problem

I began this year with a new adventure in teaching my youngest, as he was "officially" going to be working on Kindergarten curriculum. Over the previous year and summer, I thought long and hard about what we were going to do. I knew he adored doing school work. I knew that he was already "ahead" of the game having been sitting in on his brother's lessons for the last...well, since he was a year old. But I made my plan. I pulled out material that I had saved after Little Britches was done with it. I bought the curriculum I needed to go with it. I had it all planned out. You can read my post about the curriculum I had lined up for him when we started. I was sure it was going to be perfect.

As the year began, I could see that he adored school. Oh he BEGGED for more work. And as I suspected, he WAS ahead of the game when it came to all the Kindergarten basics. I made some minor adjustments and we kept on. As we continued, I discovered that something was...off. As I worked with him, I was noticing things that screamed out something loud and clear... 

Baby Britches has a different learning style than Little Britches. 

Oh this really isn't THAT big of a deal and really usually only needs a few adjustments. I mean, anyone working with kids understands that they all learn different. So it's not like this life altering discovery. No real big deal. But it is something that started making me look deeper in how we did school.

I discovered that the curriculum I had--the one that was oh so perfect for Little Britches back in the day--well, it just wasn't working very well for Baby Britches. In fact, he's not really making good progress at all when it comes to the reading aspect.

Yes, I know that reading comes when it's ready...but he is on the BRINK of it. He's ready for the keys to unlock the mystery of words....and we are working together to make it happen.

So what's the problem?

Well, I have learned that he is NOT an auditory learner (his brother is) and sounding out the phonics (Something I have always believed to be very important)...well it's not working very well. Hearing the sounds doesn't seem to be making it click in his head. He also has a speech issue we are working on, so having him duplicate the sounds I give him, can be super frustrating! We can go over blending a word...over and over...but he doesn't "hear" how it works.

However, once he SEES a word, he will remember it and can tell me what it is later pretty well. So for him, sight words are the name of the game.

--Can you guess his strongest learning style?? Yep, he's my visual kinesthetic learner.

Our curriculum (My Father's World-Kindergarten God's Creation from A to Z) isn't very sight word friendly. They have an incredible phonetic program and it worked fabulously with my oldest, who picked up phonics super quickly. (he HEARS it and gets it) But I finally (after 11 weeks!!) accepted that the reading portion of this curriculum, just wasn't working out for Baby Britches. He couldn't follow the letters to sound out the words. New words confused and frustrated him immensely--especially when they were similar with maybe only 1 letter different. Did I mention it also was difficult with his speech issues that we are still dealing with?

So what do I do????

Do I just push through? We don't have a big school budget. We invested in the program, and still have most of it left to finish. That's a big stack of worksheets and activities. Not done. Do you know how hard this is for me?? To think about walking away from it--left undone? And I don't really have anything on hand to go with his learning style, which means purchasing something new (with a budget that has already been used for the year).

The Solution

After thinking and praying about it. I decided that a change had to be made for his sake. I wanted to keep feeding his love of learning. I recognized that continuing to work with a program that was hindering and not helping him...just wasn't going to facilitate that! Fortunately, "Cyber Monday" happened when I needed it most. And one of my most favorite companies (Institute for Excellence in Writing) had incredible sales, which included (coincidentally enough) a complete reading and writing curriculum for K-2 (You can read reviews about the Primary Arts of Language [PAL] Reading and Writing Curriculum here).

This curriculum was totally different in style than what we were doing, but I saw pieces of things in the samples that resonated with me as working well with Baby Britches' learning style! Praying that the company would come through for us again, (they totally saved us with Little Britches for similar reasons)--I went ahead and purchased the product.

Now I owned TWO complete Kindergarten programs. Sigh.

I was so nervous. What if this one didn't work either? What do I do with MFW if this one DOES work? So much anxiety!

When the program arrived, I looked through it with a fine tooth comb. The more I read, the greater I became convinced that it WAS going to work. So I went ahead and did all the prep for starting the program and starting on the next Monday, I set aside MFW and we did the new Primary Arts of Language Reading and Writing Curriculum instead.

After just 2 days of using the program, it became obvious that this was EXACTLY what Baby Britches needed. So much progress just in two days--even showing up in his speech progress! It WAS the right move!

The new program is full of activities/games encouraging sight word recognition based on phonetic blends identification.
A perfect blending of sight word and phonetics--just what he needed!

Thank you, Lord!

But what about the MFW? What do I do with that now?

Well, Baby Britches actually took care of that for me. He wants to do it ALL!!!

What? Are you serious? 

Yes, actually I am. He asked me if he could still do his other letter program. He said he liked it and wanted to keep doing it. But he liked this story letter one too.

So what do I do?

Well, I said....

Okay!

You see, I am pretty sure that I can make it work. Now the PAL Reading and Writing is our core, and the MFW reading/phonics is our supplement! I can just pick the things from it that we want to do and leave the rest. We will still work through the thematic science and unit study that goes with each week...but the rest of the curriculum will just be bits and pieces here and there.

Remember--as I have already said several times--Baby Britches ADORES school and always asks for more! Now with a blending of these two curriculum, I can give him what he wants. AND if it gets to be too much, I simply drop the MFW. NO regrets.

Here is the thing...

When you find something new and different that does work, you shouldn't carry around regrets that your initial plans didn't work. Being able to make changes when things don't work...THAT is the beauty of homeschooling and being in charge of your own curriculum. You can cater it to fit every child. Trying things out until you find the perfect fit. So don't forget to be flexible and able to admit when something isn't working. Don't lock yourself into a..."we MUST finish this curriculum no matter what" or an "I can't not use it because I paid so much $$ for it!" mindset. That doesn't help your child at all!!!

Do you have an older kid that seems to be struggling with a curriculum? Include them in the decision! Have a heart to heart and ask him or her what they think they would change about it! How do they think they would learn better on that subject? Do you know their learning style? If not, maybe you should take a simple assessment to help figure it out! This will assist you in finding something that might match their needs better! There are SOOOO many options out there for every subject, that if you keep searching, I'm sure you will find what you need!

So what happens now?

Well, we are two weeks into the program and we are still doing great. I am still combining it with MFW and so far it's going fine. I know what he's willing to do and we just take day by day. Today we did part of a lesson and we will finish it tomorrow. Thankfully the PAL program is separated into sections, so it's very easy to stop and pick up later.

Just as I have always done, we will take it one day at a time and one lesson at a time...but so far, I can assure you that it was most definitely THE right decision to make. However, if at any time it doesn't seem to be working...well, you know what I will do!

***

Thank you for joining me on the first part of the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series. I am looking forward to having this be a continuous series over the next weeks, sharing some of the more "behind the scenes" sides of homeschooling, in order to bring encouragement to those experience similar situations. Homeschooling can be messy, and sometimes we forget that. So stay tuned as we explore this very fun and revealing series! The next installment will be appearing next week, as I discuss how we deal with the bad attitudes that can bring a day of schooling to a grinding halt! Yikes! This one is going to be brutally honest! So you don't want to miss it!

Back to Homeschool Blog Hop~ Day 5: What Is the Scariest Part of Homeschooling?

Here we are on the final day of the Back to Homeschool Blog Hop 2015! On this day, I want to share something that some people don't know. Homeschooling moms are scared. Yep, you read that right! We are scared about certain aspects of homeschooling. Some things keep us up at night as we worry about them. Homeschool moms need a lot of courage to be able to tackle the fears that threaten to overwhelm them at times. So what are these things we fear? I asked a group of homeschooling moms this question, and I think you will find their answers enlightening and yes, encouraging--because I think you might recognize some of your own fears in theirs!

What are my biggest fears relating to homeschooling?

I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to the thought of teaching ninth grade. Why? Well because that's the beginning of high school! It's scary enough for a public school mom--but for a homeschool mom? Why, you are moving into a whole new level of homeschooling...and I can summarize it in one word--TRANSCRIPTS! I fear the year I have to start keeping transcripts! And all those high school classes! Oy! I fear it so much, a part of me is tempted to just enroll him into an online school for those four years! Who knows though...I just might do that!

I don't think there is much I fear outside of that relating to things I myself have to do! Math doesn't scare me anymore. A good curriculum takes care of that. Science doesn't scare me for the same reasons. But high school. Yep, high school will make me shiver in my shoes!

Another thing that is related to homeschooling, is that homeschooling will bring so much work, that I will battle to keep control of my housekeeping. I fear that once we start full time with both boys, that my house will just slip away and I'll drown in the effort to keep it under control. It's a real fear for me and something I'm working on dealing with now.

On a more immediate note, I worry that my son will be made to feel bad, because he's not confident with some areas of math like multiplication and division. Someone who might put him on the spot for some reason. Or just make fun of him because he's homeschooled.

What do other mom's fear relating to homeschool? 

Let's see what some of my friends have to say!

*Alicia: "My biggest fear is failing him, not preparing him for his future academically. So yes transcripts, graduation, college, trade school all of that."

*Diana of Busy Homeschool Days: "I fear of failing him. Am I focusing too much on academics and missing the heart? Or too much heart and missing a vital piece of academics? Have I created a huge gap in his education that will be difficult to overcome when he enters adulthood?"

*Kate: "I'm scared I'm not teaching my child her way so she will learn. We started with writing she is 3.... but that is where her heart lies with drawing and I just learned it's typically learned with lower cases first because of reading. So I feel like I started wrong by doing the bigger letters first. But this is helping her visually see the letter and recognize it. She is learning. So I guess it's not wrong. 
My second is because anything can be considered homeschooling, I fear without a curriculum for pre-k I'll fail or be lost."

*Jennifer: "I worry that I am not teaching my whole children to become whole adults."

*Stephanie: "In high school and college I kept having this nightmare that I was set to graduate and the administration office called me the night before I was to walk across the stage and said that I was one credit short. I think that's my biggest fear--missing something pivotal that will keep them from meeting their goals. I have come to realize, however, that God fills in the gaps and by the time they're in high school, they share some of the responsibility. Teaching that responsibility is where I'm focusing right now."

*Andrea: "Paper work! Just meeting standards, and balancing fun."

*Stacey: "Honestly, my greatest fear has nothing to do with my kids. I find it very difficult to maintain balance in my own life because so much of my time and energy is wrapped up in parenting and homeschooling. One thing I've learned about myself is that I need to have an identity outside of the role of mother to stay healthy, and it is far more challenging when we are homeschooling. I often worry about the imbalance in my life."

*Rebecca of Raventhreads: "My eight year old is a struggling reader, and I worry that sometime her grandparents or her friends at church will make her feel bad about it."

*Lori of At Home: where life happens: "I am afraid of two very specific things, other than the academic side of it.
1 - Acquaintances, not friends, will take things I say out of context and/or as an assault on our local schools.
2 - The girls will be bullied at church by public schooled students. There is one specific child. So far, Elizabeth has just batted everything right back at the young man with a smile and information that makes him stop and say "what!?!" Last night, she mentioned that she gets to sleep until she wakes up and the rest of the class started grumbling about having to wake up at 5:30 or 6. She also talked about getting take a lot of field trips and breaks during the year and they couldn't believe it."

*Kym of Homeschool Coffee Break: "I worry about figuring out college entrance and scholarships. I have basically NO CLUE how to help my kids hunt down all the scholarships they might be eligible for, and have ZERO experience with SATs or ACTs. (This is even after reviewing a college prep resource a couple years ago.) I am sure that we are missing out because we don't have access to the Guidance Counselors at the public school whose job it is to steer kids through the college application/entrance stuff."

Wow! See? We have fears and worries just like anyone else--because we DO realize the great responsibility that we have taken on as caretakers to our children's future. But we will walk boldly forward with courage, asking God to guide our decisions and lead us every step of the way!

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Well that's it! That's the last post for this week's blog series! I hope that you have enjoyed it and have found something helpful in what I've shared. If you missed any of this week's series you can find a complete list and links of my posts on the anchor post for the series. Now I encourage you to visit some of the other homeschool bloggers participating this week! You can find the full list on my anchor post...or you can try some of these lovely ladies:

Erin @ For Him and My Family

Lori @ At Home: where life happens

Margaret @ Creative Madness Mama

Nicole @ Some Call It Natural

Crystal @ Crystal Starr

Bonnie @ Write Bonnie Rose

Shawna @ Tenacity Divine

Carol @ Home Sweet Life

Kelli @ Adventure Homeschool 

Jacquelin @ A Stable Beginning 

Leah Courtney @ As We Walk Along the Road

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What are some of your greatest fears relating to the homeschooling experience? Do you relate to any that the ladies here have shared? That I shared?

Back to Homeschool Blog Hop: Day 4~ Four Important Lessons I've Learned from Four Years of Homeschooling

Crazy enough, we are going to be starting our FIFTH year of homeschooling this fall. FIVE! I can't believe we are already five years into this crazy adventure! It seems like just yesterday I was excitedly buying our first ever homeschool curriculum. Finding that "perfect" match. Getting the box in the mail and gleefully looking through all that pristine material. Just ready to go. Flash Forward to 2015 with my Organized Chaos I call Picking My Curriculum and it's easy to see how far I've come! So the real question is...what have I learned? I have picked four things I have learned about homeschooling--one for each year we have under our belt. These four things have shaped the direction I go with homeschooling today--and I'm sure in the future!

Over the last four years, I have learned a lot. I could probably write a hundred day series on things I've learned. But I want to really narrow it down to the one greatest lesson I learned with each year of our homeschooling. Lessons that I took into the next year, and carry with me now as we head into our fifth year of teaching. I think they are vital to my success...to OUR success as a homeschooling family and I hope that you will benefit from them as well.

1. Kindergarten: Foster a Love of Learning

Oh my. How we enjoyed our Kindergarten year. I really did "score" with our curriculum when I decided to go with the My Father's World: God's Creation from A to Z. We fell in love with unit studies and being able to explore a subject over the course of a week. We enjoyed the books, the arts n crafts, the simple science experiments, and all that we created. 

I learned the value of "rabbit trails" as we put everything aside to learn more about something that had caught Little Britches attention. Learning was FUN. It was exciting. It was rewarding. We enjoyed working on our projects because there were no limits to what we could do. We even worked in a few Five in a Row units as they matched what we were doing. It was all about exploration and just showing how school lets you learn about anything you want to learn about, as much as you want to learn about.

Lesson #1

The year was all about learning to love...learning! And I think we succeeded and it set a great foundation for our homeschool adventure.

2. First Grade: Learning Style is Not One-Size Fits All

First Grade had its challenges as the curriculum shifted to be more "grown up". It had more reading, and yes more writing. I was eager to "stuff" as much into first grade as I could--to get Little Britches soaring ahead in all areas. That didn't work as well as I had planned. I discovered that reading didn't come "naturally" to Little Britches and he only wanted to do as little as possible. Book work--well book work was like a bad word. 

I discovered in this year that his learning style was NOT all about reading and writing like my own style was. No, his learning style was hands-on and "audial" minded. So I had to change my perspective. I could not teach him the way I would teach myself. This was mind blowing to me and changed everything I did from here on out. I had to let some of my "expectations" for First Grade go because, well, they were unrealistic. They were set for someone like me. Who learned like someone like me. And I had given birth to someone who DIDN'T learn like me.

Lesson #2

The year was all about learning about LEARNING. The lessons that I took from this year shaped the way our next years were set up. It changed everything from how I "structured" our day, to what curriculum we chose, to how much of it we do. Figuring out his learning style was my lesson for the year.

3. Second Grade: Sometimes You Just Have to Let It Go

Second Grade arrived and once again I had a great curriculum planned. I was SURE I had learned my lessons from the previous year and we were going to take new strides in our learning. It was going to be the year that we really conquered challenges and blazed through our lessons. We were older. We had two years already under our belts. We could do this. Annnnnnnddddd, I discovered that didn't work out so well. 

It seems I actually DIDN'T remember what I had learned from the previous years, and in that moment, a new lesson had to be learned...that sometimes, you just have to let things go. This was true of our math and science. We also discovered we had outgrown the "box". We were still using a boxed curriculum as our core--My Father's World~Adventures in US History, but we were struggling to keep up with it. You see this year I began my adventure as a reviewer with The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew, and we were getting all sorts of things to work into our school year and this was actually working well for us. But I was trying to cram it all in to my "concrete" schedule of what HAD to be done. School was becomming dreaded. Attitudes were flaring. We just could NOT do it all. So I learned the power of letting things go. 

Lesson #3

I actually DIDN'T finish the curriculum that year. It was so hard for me to stop, but I knew it was for the best. I was forgetting the two previous lessons I had learned--that I needed to foster a love of learning and that learning styles are NOT one-size-fits-all. We were getting off track again. 

So the lesson for that year was that it is OKAY if you have to walk away from curriculum. Even if you LOVED it. Even if you spent a lot of money on it. Sometimes, you just have to let it go for the sake of maintaining that love of learning and moving forward.

4. Third Grade/Preschool: Don't Measure Success by Comparing Your Child to Another

Third Grade. What a year that was. Our first year where we pieced our curriculum together instead of using an All-In-One. What a challenge that was to put together, but how liberating it felt to do! We let go of some things that we did the previous year, and embraced some new ideas and a new routine. We now had a preschooler to throw into the mix, as Baby Britches was eager to join in. 

We discovered that Little Britches FINALLY got that love of reading and excelled with flying colors. He ate up books and discovered he loved junior biographies. His love of history boomed. His love of science exploded. He diagrammed sentences with ease. But we struggled in math and writing. We had to make changes. So we did. I found a new writing curriculum (I actually let go what I had planned! Woot!) and he started doing well to the end of the year. He is hoping to continue with it for the new year (and we will). 

But math. Math is our struggle. Or rather it's MY struggle. Because I kept comparing his math skills to that of other kids his age. Oh how hard it was to hear about public school kids who were kindergartners, learning how to do algebra. And first graders knocking out complicated multiplication problems. Little Britches hates multiplication. He hates division. So I compared him and found him lacking. Then I remembered (AGAIN!)--learning is not a one-size-fits-all thing. Yes, he struggled in some aspects of math--but you know he rocked through others (whiz at graphing, measurement, story problems, geometry, decimals). And yes he might struggle with math more than some, but he has a brain for history like you wouldn't believe. And his grasp of science--fabulous.

I had to learn to stop measuring his success by comparing him to other children. No, his success was to be measured by what he HIMSELF had achieved. What he WAS achieving at that moment. HIS accomplishments. HIS growth. THAT'S the success that mattered. 

One of the reasons we chose to homeschool, was to remove the standardized testing from his school years. So he didn't have to be compared to everyone else and found lesser (or yes, even better). And I had forgotten this in my effort for validation of my OWN success as a homeschool teacher. 

Lesson #4

His success as a student, is not based on what someone else has achieved. He was succeeding in what we were giving him and attempting great things. He worked hard and was a great student. And I had forgotten that in my effort to make sure he's "up to speed" with what society says he should be able to be doing. Comparing him to other public school children, other private school children, other homeschooled children. 

This applies to myself as well. My success as a homeschool teacher, shouldn't be determined by whether or not my children are up to par with public school children of the same age. That's not the criteria our family chooses to have. I must also stop comparing myself to what other homeschool moms are doing and how their children are achieving. And I forget that. ALL. THE. TIME.

I hope that YOU will not compare yourself to me and what I do.

      Unless you are going to tell me that you totally understand the comparing thing and do it too. 

             Then it's okay to compare yourself to me. LOL

As we enter our fifth year, I wonder what lesson I will learn. I know it will be something important--the last four years have shown me that. I am actually in the process of creating myself a little printable to put in my teacher binder that have these four lessons on it. I need to see it every day. To remind myself that if I can remember these four simple things this year--we will probably have the best year yet!

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Well that's day 4! I hope you will continue check in tomorrow for the final post in this series--it's going to be another one of my collaborative posts--I think you will enjoy it! Now I encourage you to visit some of the other homeschool bloggers participating this week! You can find the full list on my anchor post...or you can try some of these lovely ladies:

Cristi @ Through the Calm and Through the Storm

Meg @ Adventures with Jude

Dawn @ Double O Farms

DaLynn @ For the Display of His Splendor

Monique @ Mountain of Grace Homeschooling

Steph @ Indy Homeschool

Kym @ Homeschool Coffee Break

Tawnee @ Adventures in homeschooling

Lisa @ Tales of a Homeschool Family

Jennifer @ Organized Home Organized School

Callie @ Mama's Coffee Shop

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Do any of the lessons I shared resonate with you? Have you learned any major lesson this past year?

5 Common Myths About Homeschooling: #5 We Just do School...at Home.

When we say we homeschool, all too often is the image of my children doing the same thing as traditional public school...just within the walls of my home. Oh my. How wrong they are. While many of the same subjects are studied, we take it "out of the box" and make schooling an ADVENTURE! The kind kids in public schools (and many teachers too) WISHED they could do! For homeschoolers, the world is their oyster!

Did you know that very few homeschooling families have a "classroom"? More often than not, school is done throughout the house. Kitchen table, kitchen, living room, den, bedroom, porch, garden...  "Have books will travel" becomes our mantra. Sure many families will have a "zone" that the majority of their school is done in. And yes, some (like us) do have a classroom area to work in. But let me tell you...we do NOT stay in that classroom very much. 
During the spring/summer/fall, you will usually find us spending about 20% of our time actually inside. The rest of the time we are taking our books on the go. Sometimes to parks, sometimes on picnics, sometimes on field trips, road trips, you name it! We are totally all about hands-on as much as possible. 
When we were learning about the power of sunlight, we didn't just read about it or watch videos. We went outside armed with magnifying glasses and dead leaves and harnessed the power to make fire! The boys quickly declared me the coolest mom ever and that the best experiment ever. 

How many teachers can just turn their children loose outside with magnifying glasses and tell them "now go burn some leaves!"
When I decided to teach about the Dewey Decimal system, we went to the public library and learned how to use the numbers to find books. The library is a great field trip! My friend Diana of Busy Homeschool Days explored an old on part of Mt. Angel Abbey and let her son explore very old Natural Science books.

Want to research the different types of rocks? Take a trip down to our creek and get ankle deep and hands on seeking out our rock types.

Travelling to Pennsylvania for something? Boom. Turn it into a field trip about the Colonial America and the Founding Fathers giving them on-site experience. (One of our future road trips)

A Friend's Homeschool Family Historical Cross Country Road trip 

Working on animal studies? Forget books and videos. Going on location to see your animal in real life is quite awesome!

Visiting the Reptile Man at the Library...and getting to hold your favorite animal is pretty cool

Little Britches did a report on Lions...and then got to visit them at the zoo for an on location animal report

Oregon Trail studies? Go to Oregon City, OR while visiting relatives and tour the End of the Trail museum and experience loading up a wagon bed yourself, make real candles by hand and stand on the spot of the End of the Trail Memorial.

Trying to write his name with a slate and chalk

Official End of the Oregon Trail

Dipping Candles

Their very own candles

Love-Of-My-Life checking out a REAL wagon that really made the Oregon Trail journey.

Working on Botany? Spend time outside in your own garden and journal your adventures.

Rain planting her own seeds after a seed anatomy lesson

Learning about caves and the difference in stalactites and stalagmites? Go on a cave tour and while you are at it, also learn about cave paintings.
Studying Shakespeare? Go to one of the sites of the annual Shakespearean festival and take in a live show of one of the classic pieces! I was able to attend the festival more than once down in Ashland, OR and saw several plays which made Shakespeare so much more enjoyable when reading about it.
But what about the "boring" stuff? Spelling, math, and such. Well, remember when in school you always begged your teacher on a nice day to let you go outside? Remember how they usually said no? Homeschool teachers almost always say "Absolutely!"

Leah working on school on her porch

Sebastian practicing spelling words with sidewalk chalk

Set up a table in your backyard and work on your schoolwork

The kitchen is a great place for school...

Thanksgiving brings and impromptu Turkey innards dissection lesson

Leah and John working on Critical Thinking Skills "on" the table!

Making Hot Sauce from the Peppers he planted himself!

Sometimes you have to do homeschool on the go...

Car at the mechanic? No problem. Work on school at the coffee shop.

Travelling? You can do homeschool lessons at the airport.

You also get to have a lot of fun...
Studying about horses and Native Americans? Watch the movie Spirit, and then paint your face and run around whooping and hollering!

Finished a lesson on Vikings? Try on a beard to see how you look for a Viking selfie.

The possibilities are endless in homeschooling. The world really is your oyster. There are no walls on your classroom (unless you make yourself have them) and you can learn and do just about anything! Children need an education...not a schooling. Homeschoolers don't just do "school" at home...we educated outside the classroom!

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There you have it! The completion of my series 5 Common Myths About Homeschooling as part of the Real Life Homeschooling Blog Hop. I hope you enjoyed this series and that you will come back and visit me again!

Discover real life in other homeschools with the Schoolhouse Review Crew bloggers! Join the blog hop to read more!

Are you wanting to check out some of the other blogs participating in the blog hop this week? Here are a few blogs to get you started!

Indy Homeschool
The Open Window-An Autism Blog
Creative Madness Mama
Hopkins Homeschool
Tots and Me...Growing Up Together
Our Journey
Crystal Starr
A Little This ... A Little That
For the Display of His Splendor

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Are you new to my blog? I'd love it if you would join my newsletter list! And everyone loves to be liked--come find me on Facebook too! I'll see you back here next week for a new round of product and curriculum reviews! I have three to share over the course of next week!