5 Mistakes That I Have Made with Curriculum {5 Days of Homeschool 101}

This fall will kick off our SIXTH year of homeschooling as we begin 5th grade and 1st grade with the boys. I cannot believe it's already been that long since we bravely (yet a bit anxiously) entered the world of homeschooling. I have learned so much over the last years and I continue to learn new things with every year forward. One of the areas where I have probably learned the most is in the world of homeschool curriculum. Today I am going to share a bit of a confessional in regards to my adventures in curriculum.

The links on this blog and in the posts may be affiliate links.  Please see my disclosure policy for full details and thank you for your support!

There are so many things that you learn as a homeschool mom, and one of the most important is in regards to curriculum. If you have ever tried to "look" at different programs, you will realize how VAST and numerous the selections for curriculum truly are. If you are like me, you will also find yourself making a lot of whoopsie's in regards to curriculum. So I wanted to give you the top five mistakes that I've made regarding curriculum for our homeschool.

What Do You Do...When You Reach The End of Your Journey? {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series}

When you begin your homeschooling journey, you rarely think about the end. I mean, most homeschooling families have more than one child, so they are looking at YEARS before the journey is over. And so you just focus on the ups and downs in front of you. The endless planning. The endless record keeping. Piles of curriculum. Overflowing bookshelves. Field trips. Never really thinking about the fact that one day you will be at the end of your journey. Every now and then though we might secretly wonder "What does it look like over there on the other side?"  Today's installment of the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series will let us do just that. Carol of Home Sweet Life is sharing what her view is like--with one daughter graduating from high school, and the other only 2 years away--13 years since the time she began her journey...

The view from where I sit today looks so very different from the view 12 years ago. Back then I had two little girls, just starting out. Ok, who am I kidding, I had one who was super excited to be finishing Kindergarten, and one who couldn’t care less if she ever started school. Emily was almost six, Arlene was almost four, Emily wanted desperately to unlock the key to reading… and Arlene, she only wanted to be read to, cuddled on my lap,… and to avoid finger paint at all costs!

Today I have  Senior who will graduate High School in December, and a Sophomore who sometimes struggles with her more advanced Algebra problems. Today I’m thinking about how I need to actually type up Emily’s transcript soon, and what we should be purchasing for Arlene to work on in the Fall.

How did this humongous transformation take place? 

One day at a time.

Avoiding the Comparison Trap {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series}

I am happy to share with you the next post in my continuing Homeschooling: Keeping it Real Series for 2016. This series continues to focus on all the behind the scenes rawness that homeschooling families face. These are things that are challenges. Issues that can wear a homeschool parent down. But the purpose of the series is to show you, that you are NOT alone! There are hundreds, maybe THOUSANDS of families going through the same ups and downs. So please, continue to look at this series as a way for me, and others to encourage YOU in your homeschooling journey! My post today comes from my dear friend (and fellow farm mama) Paige who blogs at Freedom Trail Mama. Paige shares a confession today that I am sure EVERY homeschooling parent faces at one point in their adventure...but it's one that many of us continue to get caught up in over and over again.

When my husband and I started looking into homeschooling, it was way back when we just had one precious baby who was only 6 months old. We started out pretty ignorant about homeschooling, but the more we read about it, the more we were convinced that it would give us the best chance at the most excellent education for our children. And for the next 5 years we remained convinced of this fact.

When we started our homeschooling journey, we had 4 little girls, age 5 and under. And let me tell you, by then I was not the fresh, young, 25 yr old mother of one baby who slept through the night by age 4 months….no sir. Now I was 30, had been pregnant or breastfeeding almost constantly for 6 years, and couldn’t recall the last time I’d had a great night’s sleep. Or a shower, some days. In addition, my house was a mess. Like, all the time.

Homeschooling When Your Child is Deaf {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series}

I am pleased to share with you a beautiful post written by my friend Sara who blogs at Adventures at the Hawk's Nest. She has graciously and eagerly written a post for my Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series in which she shares about an unexpected adventure and challenge she and her husband faced, after adopting their beautiful son two years ago. Without further ado, I turn the microphone over to Sara to let her share her story...

Our son arrived home on December 10, 2014. We knew, long before then, that we wanted to home school any children we might have. But we hadn’t anticipated the extra challenges that could be waiting for us now.
Ethan was 19 months old and had lived most of his life, up to that point, in a foster home in Kunming, China. 
Our son was also deaf.

10 Things I've learned and Loved Being a Beginner: Our Homeschool Story~ Guest Post {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real}

Today's installment of my Homeschooling: Keeping it Real series features a guest post from my friend Charlotte who blogs over at Sewing Little Seeds. 

We are new at homeschooling, so new that we can’t even really give advice on programs, schools, classes, co-ops, local homeschool events, discounts, curriculum, learning styles, or anything like that. BUT…I can tell you that we LOVE it! I can tell you that my children are happy and flourishing and that those shameful “behaviors” that the school system couldn’t stop complaining about long enough to actually try to help anyone…well, they are pretty much gone. The decision changed our lives. There is no stress, no crying about school, no mysterious illnesses to get out of school, no teacher’s notes, no medication, few behavioral issues, and something wonderful instead. HAPPINESS. So, today, I am going to share with you “Ten Things I've Learned and Loved Being a Beginner: Our Homeschool Story.”

The links on this blog and in the posts may be affiliate links.  Please see my disclosure policy for full details and thank you for your support!

1. Biting the Bullet 

The most challenging thing thus far has been actually coming to the crossroads in our children's education and then making the decision to do it--to pull them from public school. This is probably the largest part of my story, as I fought the notion to homeschool for nearly 6 years before I had the faith to do it! Then I had to overcome the fear of messing up my kids. We were trying our best to provide for our children’s educations, while one of them began to struggle with behaviors at school and was labeled ADHD. It led to a subsequent diagnosis and a medication trial we would quickly regret. 

Things at the time seemed great at home. Sure there were bad days and times where she didn’t listen well, but nothing that in my eyes constituted labeling her a problem child; however, I received a different story from her teachers. I received notes describing worries for her maturity and her ability to keep up with school work, as well as complaints that she couldn’t sit still for very long and that she got distracted easily. Not a big deal really in just one child, unless you have 25 or so other children to deal with as you try to teach something. I began to suspect the teacher was simply too overwhelmed to work with an outside-the-box, more active child. She just couldn’t (wouldn't?) adjust the classroom or plans to help my daughter learn at her best, so we decided after much discussion and prayer that after winter break, she and her little brother wouldn’t return to school. Once decided, we moved with swift action to complete registration with an umbrella school and then the journey began…you can read more about the early days on my blog.

2) The Insanity of Choosing The Curriculum 

If you have ever considered homeschooling, then I am sure you have seen the plethora of curriculum options out there and probably thought to yourself that it seemed overwhelming. 

You are right. It is. 

I waded through the idea of purchasing a full curriculum. I heavily considered A Beka as I chatted with representatives, calculated the cost, tried to tell myself it would provide the accountability I needed as a parent, and that it would snuff out my fear of messing up my kids. However, something about bringing the classroom into the home (which is what the online academy does) seemed counter productive, especially considering that the goal for our family was to tailor school to fit my kids and not tailor my kids to fit school. So, I tossed the idea of a full blown created-for-me curriculum out the window. As I researched homeschooling styles, I began to feel like I had no idea what I was doing and that’s simply because, well, I didn’t. I began to read articles and blogs about how others approached homeschooling and it led to something quite unexpected and beyond wonderful.

3) The Importance and Joy of De-schooling 

In my exploration of different articles and blogs, I read an article about de-schooling. De-schooling is something that is done immediately after pulling your children from public school. It is the idea of doing nothing in regards to formal education, while you enjoy life---basically observing and enjoying your children. This allowed me to get a feel for their personalities, their best time of day for learning, and see their natural tendencies towards activities as I looked for and recognized clues to discover their individual learning styles. THIS experience led to a sudden revelation.  

4) Allowing them to direct things. It's liberating!

My 6yr old little girl loves to read. Her best time of day is split; she an early morning learner and an early evening learner. We started with Bible study in the morning, followed by a break, then I used this website called Easy Peasy Homeschool for ideas. She began asking for a Math book.

5) Tailoring the Subjects to Suit Them

Now that I can see their interests, I can tailor our subjects to fit THEM. Science projects, Bible study, making up a reading program so my daughter can read her favorite books. She is a reader, like me, and absorbs things well this way. So, when she requested an actual Math book (a subject her teacher had been particularly concerned about), I began looking for ideas. A friend recommended this Math curriculum called Life of Fred.

6) Discovering the Goodness that is Life of Fred Math 

As I mentioned previously, my daughter learns best by reading and she is an advanced reader. When she asked for an actual math book, I started looking around and Life of Fred math series was recommended to me. I got on their website and sampled the first chapter. Color me impressed! I set out to try it. So, one night I sat her down with a copy of the first chapter and she breezed through it. It is tailored for her learning style. It is quite an enjoyable story line and math concepts are part of the story. I got a chance to order the first several books and WE LOVE IT. We also got the early readers for her little brother who is Pre-K age. He is already reading! So, Life of Fred? Yes, it really is THAT good. (shameless plug for endorsement lol)

7) Discovering My Daughter is an Advanced Reader

She was reading first grade level at school and blowing through the tiny books she brought home. I had bought a few early chapter books awhile back, so one day I introduced her to the hilarity that is Junie B. Jones and Judy Moody (which are roughly at level 2-3). She was so good at reading and comprehension that we quickly moved to the Magic Tree House books and the Boxcar Children. She blew me away reading fluidly and her comprehension level astounded me, as I quizzed her weekly. She remember fine details of the story that even you and I might not recall. 

8.) Feeling a Sense of Purpose

The day my friend sent me the link to the movie Indoctrination, gave me a feeling that God had given me a sense of purpose and solidified our decision to homeschool. As many would say, I did have a brief period of feeling I had bitten off more than I could chew and that perhaps, I had made a poor hasty decision. That is, until the day my friend sent me the link to watch Indoctrination for free. Being the curious person that I am, I watched it. I took notes and sent numerous messages to my husband. Although I didn’t really need further confirmation that it was the right decision, it certainly helped solidify some underlying feelings I’d had about school. I felt a little more certain and empowered to face the beast of fear deep down inside me and that day through this movie, my personal Bible study, and talk time with God….that sneaky fear-mongering devil was defeated. 

9) Refusing to get caught up in bringing the classroom home

A challenge that a lot of homeschoolers face is being caught up in making your homeschool, just a home version of the public school classroom. I am refusing to get caught up in bringing the classroom home, but rather making learning an experience and an enjoyable one at that. I cannot express enough that the key for homeschool to work for us was in de-schooling (like debriefing--giving your child a chance to release from the public school setting) and letting God take the fear of messing up my kids away from me. It has been the greatest blessing to realize that my child wasn’t struggling with school work, but, rather the stress of conforming to fit inside the little box you are required to fit in to be accepted and successful in public school.  Obviously, she didn’t fit inside their little box...in fact, she blew the edges off! She loves learning and her little brother is just trucking along behind her. 

10) Discovering local homeschool resources

One day, we visited the local Hands of Science Center with a homeschooling friend. We had planned to spend the morning letting them explore and then having lunch and letting them play somewhere. When we stepped up to the counter, a lady excitedly exclaimed, “Oh! Are you guys homeschoolers?” To which we happily replied, “yes, we are!” She then gave us several schedules for age appropriate activities for our children and a schedule for a homeschool program. There was one that afternoon and she invited us to come. The program was called Arcs and Sparks and featured experiments about electricity. We were all enamored and excited. We renewed our membership so we could attend the activities; it was a worthy investment.

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In summary, homeschool has resulted in improving my personal outlook on life, and reaffirmed (through God) that I am making good decisions for my family. I love seeing them enjoy school, get excited over books coming in the mail, learning without a major struggle or fighting to make them complete something, and finally, we have enjoyed a increased closeness in our family as this decision affects so many aspects in our lives! We are so thankful for God leading us to this decision. We are homeschoolers and this is our homeschool story!

Meet Charlotte

My name is Charlotte. My husband, David and I, have three fearfully and wonderfully children ages 4,6, and 14. We live in Manchester, TN.  I currently homeschool our two youngest ones and our oldest is finishing this year at school and will join us next year. I am also a full time night shift nurse. Homeschooling can definitely be successful while holding a job. It has really been the adventure of a lifetime. I casually blog about our homeschooling journey at sewinglittleseeds.blogspot.com. I pray our story about the journey that led us to homeschooling is an encouragement and a blessing to anyone who reads it.

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I hope that you enjoyed this post sharing the behind the scenes about things that a new homeschooling parent has learned during her early days of her new adventure. This is my third installment of Homeschooling: Keeping It Real series. I hope that you are enjoying this look behind the scenes at what it's like to be a homeschooler, and will continue to check back in for the rest of the series as we continue to give you honest and real peaks at our lives!

When Rotten Attitudes Enter the Classroom {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real}

In our classroom, we always have a great day! We never have to worry about bad attitudes because the boys always love school and are always helpful and eager to do whatever is asked of them. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful and easy job as their teacher.....um. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Okay. You really didn't believe me did you? Because if you did, well...you shouldn't. We are just like any other classroom. We have our good days and our bad days. Sometimes more bad days than I really want. It usually boils down to bad attitudes. In this second post of the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series, I am going to talk about what we do when someone has a rotten attitude during school!

The Problem

It is no surprise that as a homeschool parent, one of the hardest aspects of homeschooling our children is...well, homeschooling our children! They are our children, so we are well aware of their faults. We know their triggers. We know when they are about to lose it. And we don't exactly have the option of sending them...well to the principal or suspension to get them out of the classroom when they do lose it. A single child with a bad attitude can spell disaster for a homeschool day--just like it can in a public school classroom.
I have been there. Frequently. Like probably once a week.
I mostly see it in my oldest child. He's a perfectionist. He wants everything to come easy, and when it doesn't...well. It can be very ugly some times. It is interesting to me that for someone who talks all the time, he has a very very hard time expressing himself in situations like this and will just react instead. This ends up looking like a red face, angry tear filled eyes, and crossed arms--just ready to explode. Once we go there, it's very hard to get back on track. And if I handle it wrong, it will escalate and jeopardize our entire day.
Guess what? I handle it wrong. A lot.
I can't even begin to tell you the number of times things have gotten very ugly in the classroom because I reacted to his frustration in frustration myself. Oh man. It spins out of control very quickly.
Did I mention that he has a personality like me?  So he knows how to push my buttons very easily?
I'm sure you can think of one (or more) of your children/students who push your buttons more than most. I see my own imperfections reflected back at me and it frustrates me. LOL.
So how CAN I handle it when he's on the brink?
Most children who react with a rotten attitude are usually doing so because there is something that they are frustrated with. Adults are the same way. So why would we think children are any different?
And speaking of adults...
Let's not forget that the TEACHER might be the one with the rotten attitude!
Been there. Done that. And when it's a homeschool teacher with PMS...oh that's a whole other level of ugly.
So what do we do??? What can we do for our children with bad attitudes? What can we do for ourselves? What can we do when their bad attitude destroys our own?

The Solution

Here are some tips and tricks I've put together for diffusing the situation...because let's face it. School isn't going to be happening when attitudes are in play...and we can't just simply call off school every time because of them either!
*Get God involved.  Okay, so this seems weird right? How can you get God involved? Well for me, it's simply making sure that God has been a part of our homeschool day. Did I start my own day with prayer and mediation to get my priorities lined up right? If not, I quickly discover a bad attitude waiting to happen. What about your children? Did you pray with them before starting school? I find that when we fail to pray before school, we tend to deal with FAR more bad attitudes. 
And when tempers flare and the attitudes are interfering--well, I take it to God again. I will have us stop what we are doing and take a time out for prayer to God to help us get re-focused and under control. It helps. Always. 
My friend Heidi has a similar method "When that would happen to us, we would all stop and each say a prayer together and write Proverbs for 15 minutes. It is like a reboot."
*Make sure your child's basic needs are being met. Feed them. What? Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of being "hangry"? LOL! My boys experience the most attitude disruptions in the period just before lunchtime. I make sure they get snacks about an hour before lunch because they need it to help keep them focused. We do nuts, pretzels, fruit, granola bars...things that can be eaten while they are working. Trust me. It makes a difference.
My friend Diana (of Busy Homeschool Days) agrees: "Food! I'm learning to feed the monster! {I feel like I'm in one of those snickers commercials!} It brings the blood sugar up and gives us a break."
Another friend Tiffany shares: "Sometimes we break for a snack or just don't begin until after lunch."
It's amazing the power of our stomachs and blood sugar when it comes to affecting our brains! Make sure your kids have enough to munch through their day! 
Make sure YOU have enough to eat. Drink that coffee if you need it. Brew your tea. Make sure you give yourself a chocolate stash to raid mid morning. Make a smoothie full of brain food! You need it just as much--maybe even MORE than they do.
Exercise them. Oh boy. When my boys don't get to run and jump and play...well all that bottled up energy leads to serious attitude explosions! There is a REASON recess is so important! When I see them on the brink of explosion, I simply say "Finish up what you are working on right now, and then you can have recess." That usually diffuses the situation quickly. But if it doesn't, I have sometimes had them stand up and start doing silly things. At first they glare at me. But then they smirk. And then they smile. And then they laugh. And then they are ready to get back to work. 
I have a series of fun exercise cards where each card is a letter of the ABC's and has an exercise or movement that starts with that letter. In moments when we need a quick refocus, I will have them "exercise" their name. It works. 
What about PE? Have you incorporated physical education in your classroom? That can be considered tough for homeschoolers...but it is actually pretty simple. Create a circuit workout for your kids that includes jumping jacks, jump roping, hopping, pushups, leg lifts, squats, balancing...and then schedule 15-20 minutes to do it every single day. 
We started doing this and it has made a HUGE difference in our day. They look forward to it and remind me when it's time. Remember when we enjoyed PE back when it was actually still fun and mandatory? With the big parachute, relay races, scooters, and kickball? Our kids aren't any different. And when the weather is nice, take it outside! Get some soccer cones and set up simple games!
And get involved! YOU need the break and movements too!!
Jessica says "I have birthing balls instead of chairs for homework time!"

Millie shares "For me it depends on the child...For my oldest it's physical activity."
Alicia says "We break and I send him outside to take the dog for a walk. It always works between the exercise and the time with his dog...it changes him. And it gives me time to breathe and pray."

Sleep. This is a no brainer. When my boys don't have enough sleep, they get cranky. Make sure your kids are getting enough good sleep every night. Maybe they need a time of rest? Or even a nap? Make sure YOU are getting enough sleep! It's so tempting to work while they are in bed for the night. Or to finish that one more thing...but then it's after midnight and you realize the alarm is going to go off in just a few short hours. Trust me. I am a night owl, who actually needs a lot of sleep. So FORCING myself to go to bed is crucial for my success as a teacher.
Millie agrees "My youngest has anxiety which usually means a nap is in order to reset her."

Charlotte shares "If we are tired. I put a halt on school and we have a two hour rest period where no one is required to go to sleep but lights are out and calming music or a calming Netflix show is put on while we lay there and talk, or don't talk, or sleep or don't sleep, but it is definitely a time to just "Let it go!" 
Angela simply says "I often send the kid to take a nap and have him try again later."
*Change Gears Sometimes, the problem is simply accepting that your child is struggling with something related to school and they need to change gears to something else. Having issues in math? Don't let it escalate to tears! You are in control of the schedule, so change it! Let them shift to a subject they enjoy so they can get re-focused. You can attempt that math again later with a fresh outlook.  I have saved us a lot of bad attitudes by changing up our school day so that we do blocks of two subjects with a recess after. He can choose what he does, but whatever he picks has to be done before he can go to recess. This gives him a sense of being in control and puts him in a much better frame of mind. Charlotte shares "If we are having issues, then before we start back up a lesson, we focus with a small activity like a quick Lego build. I might say "build me a boat!" and she, and her little brother, build a boat. They giggle and laugh and then we can start again." Lindsey says "My daughter is finishing up her reading lessons book, and does first grade math work sheets. But if she is easily frustrated by challenges. On days that she is really struggling I go back and do an easier lesson. That way she is still doing school, but being able to accomplish it with ease makes it more fun." *Teach them how to communicate What do I mean? Well as I said earlier. Most bad attitudes in children are related to a frustration about something they are experiencing. I have learned that my oldest needs to be reminded sometimes about how to communicate in these times of frustration. If he feels himself losing control, I remind him to communicate his feelings so that I can best help him. Give them the freedom to ask questions without being made to feel dumb or stupid. We want to encourage them to express themselves properly, so that we can avoid the blowups. 
9 out of 10 times, my oldest's problems relate to him not remembering how to do something I taught him. And he just forgets that he can simply ask me for help. Instead, he buries his head in his arms and sheds many angry tears at his own inability to grasp or accomplish something. We regularly have to walk through the following:

1. Will your tears fix the problem? (no)
2. Is the frustration you are experiencing related to something you don't understand? (yes)
3. If yes, have you asked mommy to help you with it? (no)
4. Is mommy willing to help you? (yes)
Once we work through these questions, I then advise him to take a deep breath, wipe his eyes, and think about what he needs. Then and ONLY then can he ask. This allows him to get control over himself so that he can communicate freely.
Sometimes, the bad attitude is not related to the current assignment, but rather school as a whole. If you are a homeschooler, I'm SURE you have heard at least one of them say "I wish I didn't have to do school." 
It's in times like this, that it might be good to just sit and TALK. What do they wish they could do instead? If it's just to play, have a good chat with them about the importance of education and the reasons why we go to "school". What kind of job do they want later? Obviously adjust this for your child's age. Sometimes just telling them that you understand but that there is a time for work and a time for play can suffice.
More than anything, during this time of frustration, I work on teaching him to communicate his feelings and needs properly to me or whomever is involved.
Don't forget the power of a "soft answer" When it comes to dealing with frustrations, it's back to the basics...back to the source of all wisdom for our family...

"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

It's so simple. Yet I need this PLASTERED all over my desk in the classroom. When I respond to his frustration with a soft answer. A gentle touch. A hug. A pat. LOVE. I can diffuse the situation fairly quickly. When I demonstrate to him proper communication, it gives him the proper outlet for his own communication.
Do I remember to do this? Not always.
I am working so hard on answering his frustrations with kindness and gentleness instead of frustration of my own. But I have a long way to go.
*Sometimes you have to deal with the heart There are times when the issues are boiled down to a character level. It becomes a heart matter. It's not about you not helping them with something that causes them to lose it. It's about them losing control of their emotions just because they choose to. 
There are legitimate cases where children have issues of some kind that get their emotions out of whack. That's a whole other situation and issue. 
I am talking about cases when it's just downright a complete loss of control. When the countenance falls. The tongue becomes sharp. When it becomes a situation of disrespect.
We deal with that here.  Frequently, I'm afraid.
Every family has their own methods for dealing with this, but it HAS to be done. Maintaining control of one's self is so important, and yet all too many children today do not know how to do it. And then they grow up into adults who have no control of themselves and become loose cannons. We as parents--the ultimate teachers--must always address this issue with fervent action! 
And sometimes that means stopping everything you are doing in the middle of school to take care of it!
One of my friend's Lindsey has this reminder "To all homeschooling moms I would say "Remember that we chose homeschooling so that we could prioritize character building over simple academia. If the focus of a day shifts from book work to character lessons and relationship building, it isn't a failed school day, it's a day devoted to only the MOST important learning."
Cheryl shares "We work on having our children recognize the first signs of a bad attitude & usually work at those first signs where it can be done with verbal admonition. We take the offending child aside for a one-on-one talk (usually on a knee) and talk about the attitude problem. We usually point that the root of the bad attitude is selfishness-- thinking about yourself and wallowing in it. We take them back to the stories of the bible and of some of their favorite heroes to where the character of selflessness is highlighted. Usually that does the trick and if their attitude is better afterward, we go do something that they enjoy.. Be it a walk, doing a hairstyle, building blocks, making some popcorn, reading a book, it simply take a nap etc...If the bad attitude was not caught ahead of time & it leads to the physical hurt of another, then that receives an escalated admonition with a stronger consequence."
Diana says "If the attitude is bigger than a simple need not being met, there are a few things I may try. I have given a chore list in place of school. Usually, the attitude shapes up and he gets back to work on the schoolwork."
We do something similar to all of these. We stop immediately and address the issue. A verbal warning is given and we continue on. If the attitude doesn't change, then we shift to a consequence--extra chores in the house, or outside the house, or a loss of a priviledge. We also do the traditional old school "Name on the Board". If the name is on the board, they have to explain to Love-Of-My-Life (the principal) why it was put there. If there are check marks...well, then they have escalated all their consequences. I have RARELY had to put more than 1 check by anyone's name in any given day. I have found that just having to talk to Daddy about why their name is on the board is a deterrent itself. For now anyways.
Extra chores is another plus. I always have things that they can do for me. It's amazing how quickly they decide a good attitude and schoolwork is better idea than scrubbing toilets and windows.

During these moments of correction, I also pull out scriptures which show the responsibility God has put on me as a parent. That I am responsible for TEACHING them to act appropriately. And that I am not doing MY job if I don't help them curb these attitudes and behaviors. That does seem to help shift the focus back to God. We have pulled out the 10 Commandments and discussed how disrespectful attitudes, break the 5th commandment about honoring a mother and father. 
*Sometimes YOU need the break What? But THEY have the bad attitude, not me. Sure. Maybe they do. But all too often we get sucked into responding without stopping to think about what we are doing or saying. Then next thing you know you are maybe raising your voice. Or you just find yourself going head to head with them. Even when they have the attitude, sometimes it is best to remove yourself from the situation in order to count to 10 or take a moment to breathe before responding.
But sometimes...you are the one with the bad attitude. 
What do we do when it becomes apparent that WE are the ones with the problem?
Millie "For my bad attitude it's simply some time alone. I send them to recess or to take a break."
Jessica "Make sure you are de-stressed before going into teaching. If that means a cup of tea and doing the dishes first and maybe lying down for 5 minutes and visualizing, then do it!"

Tiffany "If it's me- Afternoon school instead of morning or we just may not do school that day. I do a 4 day school week...so there's an extra day to lean on if need be."
Charlotte "Since I work full-time as a night shift nurse I battle bad attitudes of my own often. Let's face it. Doing Math or listening to my first grader struggle with words when I'm exhausted is beyond challenging and not fair to either of us. Now, there are certainly days where nothing seems to work. Those days get a hot bubble bath and I lighten the load to do it in the afternoon." 
Diana "When *I* am in a bad mood, I'll go do a chore or take a nap. He's instructed to do what he can by himself and then he's free to go play. I may or may not bring him back to finish things later. We seem to feed off each other when there are bad attitudes happening. So it's usually best that we separate ourselves for a time."
Lindsey "For MY bad attitudes I have to meditate on why I'm doing this, as it is usually caused by impatience or a desire to be done and doing something else."
Cheryl "If it is me that has the attitude problem, I retreat by myself (usually the bathroom) and say a prayer, have them listen to their favorite audio book to get my time alone doing whatever or we all go out for a walk/run and simply enjoy the day."
If I catch myself starting to get uptight, I remove myself from the situation. As Diana said, bad attitudes feed on each other and my attitude will spill over onto the boys and it will be come a big mess. So I usually go and grab my rollerbottle of a relaxing blend of essential oils and oil up. That helps so much. Sometimes I simply announce that it's lunch time...and we take an extended lunch--during which time I sit and read or listen to music. Something to get myself relaxed again. And every now and then I admit defeat and simply cancel school for the day. And pray. I do a LOT of praying. Calling up scripture to mind. There are days I do an impromptu bible study just to get refocused.
*** Whether dealing with a bad attitude from one of your children, or dealing with a whopper of a bad mood in your own self, there are always steps that you can take to diffuse the situation and salvage your school day. Thankfully as homeschool teachers, we CAN send everyone out to recess that last for an hour. We CAN drop math and go straight to art or PE. We CAN stop what we are doing and go on a walk outside. We can stop and deal with the attitudes in the middle of class without worrying about the time lost. We can even throw in the towel for the day if we need to. 
The next time the rotten attitudes come knocking on your homeschool door, try sending them packing with a few of these tips and tricks I have shared today. We all have those kind of days....but they are able to dealt with, without losing your cool and making a bad day worse!
*** Thank you for joining me for my second post in the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real series! Today we talked about how we deal with the bad attitudes that enter the classroom sometimes. The first post in our series was about having to make curriculum changes mid-school year. The next post is going to be a guest post from a friend about things she's learned as she started her brand new homeschool journey. I hope you will join me as I continue this biweekly series, giving you a glimpse into some of the nitty gritty aspects of being a homeschooling mom!
What are some things YOU do to diffuse a bad attitude?

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When Your Curriculum Isn't Working {Homeschooling: Keeping It Real}

When you plan out your curriculum for your children at the beginning of the school year, you have big dreams! As you are stashing goodies away over the summer months, and ordering your new supplies, you eagerly think about all the great things you are going to be doing over the coming year. All the different subjects, all the different resources for each subject. And when they are all typed out and put into a "schedule" for the year, the list looks grand and mighty! As a homeschool teacher, I see it and go "Yes! Let's do this!" But what happens when come the end of December, things aren't going the way you had hoped? What if one of the curriculum you purchased isn't quite...working? Join me as I share about what's been going on in our OWN school year and how I answered that question when it happened to us, in my first post of the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series!

The Problem

I began this year with a new adventure in teaching my youngest, as he was "officially" going to be working on Kindergarten curriculum. Over the previous year and summer, I thought long and hard about what we were going to do. I knew he adored doing school work. I knew that he was already "ahead" of the game having been sitting in on his brother's lessons for the last...well, since he was a year old. But I made my plan. I pulled out material that I had saved after Little Britches was done with it. I bought the curriculum I needed to go with it. I had it all planned out. You can read my post about the curriculum I had lined up for him when we started. I was sure it was going to be perfect.

As the year began, I could see that he adored school. Oh he BEGGED for more work. And as I suspected, he WAS ahead of the game when it came to all the Kindergarten basics. I made some minor adjustments and we kept on. As we continued, I discovered that something was...off. As I worked with him, I was noticing things that screamed out something loud and clear... 

Baby Britches has a different learning style than Little Britches. 

Oh this really isn't THAT big of a deal and really usually only needs a few adjustments. I mean, anyone working with kids understands that they all learn different. So it's not like this life altering discovery. No real big deal. But it is something that started making me look deeper in how we did school.

I discovered that the curriculum I had--the one that was oh so perfect for Little Britches back in the day--well, it just wasn't working very well for Baby Britches. In fact, he's not really making good progress at all when it comes to the reading aspect.

Yes, I know that reading comes when it's ready...but he is on the BRINK of it. He's ready for the keys to unlock the mystery of words....and we are working together to make it happen.

So what's the problem?

Well, I have learned that he is NOT an auditory learner (his brother is) and sounding out the phonics (Something I have always believed to be very important)...well it's not working very well. Hearing the sounds doesn't seem to be making it click in his head. He also has a speech issue we are working on, so having him duplicate the sounds I give him, can be super frustrating! We can go over blending a word...over and over...but he doesn't "hear" how it works.

However, once he SEES a word, he will remember it and can tell me what it is later pretty well. So for him, sight words are the name of the game.

--Can you guess his strongest learning style?? Yep, he's my visual kinesthetic learner.

Our curriculum (My Father's World-Kindergarten God's Creation from A to Z) isn't very sight word friendly. They have an incredible phonetic program and it worked fabulously with my oldest, who picked up phonics super quickly. (he HEARS it and gets it) But I finally (after 11 weeks!!) accepted that the reading portion of this curriculum, just wasn't working out for Baby Britches. He couldn't follow the letters to sound out the words. New words confused and frustrated him immensely--especially when they were similar with maybe only 1 letter different. Did I mention it also was difficult with his speech issues that we are still dealing with?

So what do I do????

Do I just push through? We don't have a big school budget. We invested in the program, and still have most of it left to finish. That's a big stack of worksheets and activities. Not done. Do you know how hard this is for me?? To think about walking away from it--left undone? And I don't really have anything on hand to go with his learning style, which means purchasing something new (with a budget that has already been used for the year).

The Solution

After thinking and praying about it. I decided that a change had to be made for his sake. I wanted to keep feeding his love of learning. I recognized that continuing to work with a program that was hindering and not helping him...just wasn't going to facilitate that! Fortunately, "Cyber Monday" happened when I needed it most. And one of my most favorite companies (Institute for Excellence in Writing) had incredible sales, which included (coincidentally enough) a complete reading and writing curriculum for K-2 (You can read reviews about the Primary Arts of Language [PAL] Reading and Writing Curriculum here).

This curriculum was totally different in style than what we were doing, but I saw pieces of things in the samples that resonated with me as working well with Baby Britches' learning style! Praying that the company would come through for us again, (they totally saved us with Little Britches for similar reasons)--I went ahead and purchased the product.

Now I owned TWO complete Kindergarten programs. Sigh.

I was so nervous. What if this one didn't work either? What do I do with MFW if this one DOES work? So much anxiety!

When the program arrived, I looked through it with a fine tooth comb. The more I read, the greater I became convinced that it WAS going to work. So I went ahead and did all the prep for starting the program and starting on the next Monday, I set aside MFW and we did the new Primary Arts of Language Reading and Writing Curriculum instead.

After just 2 days of using the program, it became obvious that this was EXACTLY what Baby Britches needed. So much progress just in two days--even showing up in his speech progress! It WAS the right move!

The new program is full of activities/games encouraging sight word recognition based on phonetic blends identification.
A perfect blending of sight word and phonetics--just what he needed!

Thank you, Lord!

But what about the MFW? What do I do with that now?

Well, Baby Britches actually took care of that for me. He wants to do it ALL!!!

What? Are you serious? 

Yes, actually I am. He asked me if he could still do his other letter program. He said he liked it and wanted to keep doing it. But he liked this story letter one too.

So what do I do?

Well, I said....

Okay!

You see, I am pretty sure that I can make it work. Now the PAL Reading and Writing is our core, and the MFW reading/phonics is our supplement! I can just pick the things from it that we want to do and leave the rest. We will still work through the thematic science and unit study that goes with each week...but the rest of the curriculum will just be bits and pieces here and there.

Remember--as I have already said several times--Baby Britches ADORES school and always asks for more! Now with a blending of these two curriculum, I can give him what he wants. AND if it gets to be too much, I simply drop the MFW. NO regrets.

Here is the thing...

When you find something new and different that does work, you shouldn't carry around regrets that your initial plans didn't work. Being able to make changes when things don't work...THAT is the beauty of homeschooling and being in charge of your own curriculum. You can cater it to fit every child. Trying things out until you find the perfect fit. So don't forget to be flexible and able to admit when something isn't working. Don't lock yourself into a..."we MUST finish this curriculum no matter what" or an "I can't not use it because I paid so much $$ for it!" mindset. That doesn't help your child at all!!!

Do you have an older kid that seems to be struggling with a curriculum? Include them in the decision! Have a heart to heart and ask him or her what they think they would change about it! How do they think they would learn better on that subject? Do you know their learning style? If not, maybe you should take a simple assessment to help figure it out! This will assist you in finding something that might match their needs better! There are SOOOO many options out there for every subject, that if you keep searching, I'm sure you will find what you need!

So what happens now?

Well, we are two weeks into the program and we are still doing great. I am still combining it with MFW and so far it's going fine. I know what he's willing to do and we just take day by day. Today we did part of a lesson and we will finish it tomorrow. Thankfully the PAL program is separated into sections, so it's very easy to stop and pick up later.

Just as I have always done, we will take it one day at a time and one lesson at a time...but so far, I can assure you that it was most definitely THE right decision to make. However, if at any time it doesn't seem to be working...well, you know what I will do!

***

Thank you for joining me on the first part of the Homeschooling: Keeping It Real Series. I am looking forward to having this be a continuous series over the next weeks, sharing some of the more "behind the scenes" sides of homeschooling, in order to bring encouragement to those experience similar situations. Homeschooling can be messy, and sometimes we forget that. So stay tuned as we explore this very fun and revealing series! The next installment will be appearing next week, as I discuss how we deal with the bad attitudes that can bring a day of schooling to a grinding halt! Yikes! This one is going to be brutally honest! So you don't want to miss it!