January 25, 2017

Even the Wine Spit at Me (aka. My Jonah Day)

It really began the night before with a restless, wakeful vigil of grumbling toothache. When Anne arose in the dull, bitter winter morning she felt that life was flat, stale, and unprofitable......."Oh, this has been such a Jonah day, Marilla..."~ Anne of Avonlea, Chapter 12
Have you ever had a Jonah day?
You know. The days when it seems like EVERYTHING in the world is against you. When it seems like NOTHING you do is right. The kind where you just want to go crawl back in bed and pull your covers over your head.

Yeah me neither.

I had one of those this past Friday. Unlike Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables, my day didn't start as a Jonah day. It sort of...stumbled into one as the day went on. School went well. But as soon as it was over. Oh my.

The rest of the afternoon on Friday, I was trying to get things done in preparation for my Sabbath on Saturday. So I was scurrying around finishing chores, and planning dinner. But wouldn't you know--nothing was easy.

I went to grab ONE paperclip.
They all apparently decided to play a round of barrel of monkeys and I pulled out 35.

I went to get ONE hanger.
They clearly had decided to play TWISTER and I ended up yanking and jerking to get just one free. Naturally when it came free, it flung all the others at me in retribution for cutting its game short. 

I walked by the table.
A book reached out and grabbed me, knocking itself and three other items onto the floor.

I turned the washer on.
My son's LEGO plane he had left on top of the washer decided to go on autopilot and fly off during the spin cycle. It failed in this and smashed into smithereens. NATURALLY my son blamed me. "It was the washing machine!"

I opened the pantry.
Pasta was so eager to see me, it launched like it was spring loaded, at my head the minute the door opened. Cilantro decided to greet me too.

I walked by the island in my kitchen.
Perilously positioned pans in the cupboard underneath, decided it was the perfect time to make an escape and fell from the top shelf in a great cacophonous sound.

I went in my closet to determine what I was going to wear for church.
All the clothing I touched, clearly felt like it needed to be ironed AGAIN as it slithered off the hangers and onto the floor. 

I needed chicken for dinner.
This was the night the butcher decided he wouldn't be quite done with our chicken order, thus it arrived an hour later than I needed.

I put away the dishes from the dishwasher.
The bottom rack of the dishwasher jumped tracks and I couldn't get it back on right away.

After all of this (and more), my parents came over for dinner. As my mom pulled out her wine, I shared my Jonah day. I looked at the bottle and decided that I really needed a glass of wine to drink as I finished dinner. She agreed. So I got out two wine glasses (for she was going to join me), and went to pull her stopper.

I kid you not.

Yes. when the stopper was pulled it popped--and drops of red wine splashed my face and shirt.

I stood there incredulous.
My mom stood there laughing hysterically. She's so supportive like that.

But I poured my wine all the same.

But you know...it wasn't over yet.

Guess who found a BAKED STINK BUG in her biscuit at dinner?
Sigh. At least it was before I took a bite.

Guess who enjoyed another glass of wine?

At least I can remember what Anne Shirley herself said at the end of her Jonah day.
"Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?"
I'll drink to that!
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